Potty training your child isn’t rocket science. You just need to know a few tips and tricks, and believe that it will eventually happen!
We eventually got around to it. And so will you!
Just about a month before his third birthday, the toddler and I went for a short mom-baby trip to attend a family wedding. When we got back, I quietly whispered to the husband, “You know, that was the first week he has spent 100% diaper free!”
At that point, we both were so wary of jinxing it that the “celebration” was merely a quiet fist-bump exchanged and half-smiles to cheer ourselves. And then he said, in his typical get-to-the-heart-of-things way, “If someone asks us how we did it, I’d have no answer to give them!”
But then what am I doing writing on this topic, you may wonder. The answer is that I actually know what to tell you about potty-training a toddler is because we got there only after I’d read everything I could find, asked everyone who’d had success in the recent past, and basically tried everything there is to try!
Get your Head in the Game:
One of the first questions to ask is are *you* ready for potty training? Not the baby, the primary caregiver (and any other caregivers) has to be fully ready and committed. If there are secondary caregivers (like a daycare) then they too need to be equally prepared and work hand-in-hand to make the process a full success. There’s no point spending weekends trying to train him and then just putting on a diaper on Monday.
But also know that it may take time. As parents, the worst thing to do is to stress yourself out over diapers. Going to the bathroom on their own is a “skill” that every child eventually learns. I remember having a major breakdown one day, with copious amounts of tears being shed. “Ours will be the only kid in Nursery who will still need a diaper! We are such failures as parents” I wailed to my dumbstruck husband. This was well over a year before he had to start Nursery, and it was just about a few weeks into our formal attempts to potty train. So let’s just agree that it can get frustrating! But you know what, the frustration doesn’t last. He went from zero interest in being diaper-free to running across the house shouting, “I’ll do susu on my own; you go away” in a matter of weeks. So have your tools ready, and work with your child, but let them figure it out on their own time.
Know your Baby’s Signals:
There is one school of thought that recommends taking your child to the loo every two hours. I don’t know about you, but that just sounds like trauma for both mum and baby! It restricts you from going outdoors for long periods of time, and it also doesn’t prepare the child to be self-aware. If they are being made to go every two hours, how will they figure out that they have to tell you (or their teacher) when they need to go?
Rather than this, lookout for a sign that your baby will show of being ready for this. Does she sit in a particular place when she needs to pee? Does he stand in a corner and/or make a poppy-face? Any other peculiar habit that signals that they’re ready to relieve themselves. Older kids, who have started speaking, may tell you that a diaper needs changing. Or use sign language to the same effect. One more key sign to watch out for is if your little one is waking up from naps with a dry diaper. This means they are going for a long period of dry time and can hold it in till they wake up.
Once you see some sort of awareness in your child, start the conversation of “it is time to stop wearing diapers”. We did potty training at an age where our little fellow was suddenly aware that there are humans that are smaller than him! “Babies wear diapers because they can’t sit on the pot.” I lost count of how many times we laughed at this sentence. Whatever the logic that your child understands, whether it is a big-boy/girl concept, or don’t-stay-wet idea, or do-what-Mumma-does message. Just explain again and again (and again and again) that they can and should start using the bathroom now. But do remember to keep it light, without losing your cool or making them feel bad about not immediately getting it.
Always be Prepared:
When you are ready to start, be sure to equip yourself with the right tools for potty training, namely thicker training pants, some books on potty training, and an age-appropriate toilet seat.
Training pants are basically underwear with double lining which can help to contain some of the spillover. These are very useful for getting the child used to the concept of being diaper free. They immediately feel the wetness and can understand that wetness can be avoided by going to the toilet. Just be sure you have enough pairs with you! We had used the super cute prints in pure organic cotton from AZ Tuckerbox. Check them out here.
Another tool we found very important is storytelling. I always say, when in doubt get a book! There are a few dozen books available that show babies, in a fun and friendly way, that when you have to go you have to go. Check out some books for potty training that are available on Amazon India.
The last and most important tool is an age-appropriate training seat. Smaller kids can sit on a portable potty which can be placed in the bathroom, or outside. These come in cute colourful designs and are a good way to make the process fun for the little ones.
If you’re starting with a 2-year old or older, best avoid port-a-potties and go directly for a seat reducer for the bathroom. These come as stand-alone ones or with a step ladder. If you decide to go with a standalone, be sure to get a step stool as well. The child should be able to place their feet on firm ground, rather than dangling in the air. For some children, the potty seat can become a scary place just because they feel they have no control – they’re literally left hanging in mid-air. Having a step stool (or ladder) below their feet, and a handle to hold on to gives them the very essential sense of control they need.
We got the port-a-potty (which still lies unused), and a simple seat from a local toy store, and finally decided to get a seat with a step ladder (similar to the image on the right).
This was fairly expensive compared to the other options, but it came with good reviews. I recommend it too, wholeheartedly. We even christened it “Baby’s Magic Seat” and got him to help us assemble it. The idea was to get him excited to try something new. And the added advantage is that it can be used without the ladder at a later stage, or when travelling. He still announces, “Mumma, get my magic seat!” when he needs to potty!
To Each His Own:
As with most things baby-related, what works in one case may not work in another. Our journey of going diaper-free actually taught me that this is also a lesson one needs to learn.
If at first, you don’t succeed, try try try again.
For instance, some parenting websites suggest that rewarding (or bribing!) with a figurative gold star as a small toy can help the process. So we tried that. Basically, every time he would potty on the seat, we’d let him pick a new small dinosaur toy to play with. It seemed to work for a few days, but then our smart-aleck decided that it wasn’t worth the effort! He’d just say he doesn’t need any new dinosaurs and continue to wet his pants. So we definitely didn’t get too far with this. I know some parents who swear it is the easiest way to get them to do things.
The most important message I’d like to leave you with is this.
It doesn’t matter how late or early you start. Don’t compare to that one’s child who was diaper-free at 6 months, and perhaps most importantly, don’t try to measure your success as a parent on such a small little milestone.
Remember to prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.
It literally isn’t rocket science!
