As an expectant mother, you should know that every bad (or good) thing that happens in movies or online doesn’t necessarily happen in real life. To give you some perspective and help calm your nerves as you try to overcome your pregnancy fears, I spoke to 19 moms who have literally been-there-done-that.
No surprise to hear that they all felt the anxieties that come with those baby kicks, and they all managed to overcome them. And so did I!
One of my friends was convinced that every possible ailment that could affect an expectant mother & her child, would in fact affect her. Her husband finally intervened and banned her from any online research. After their first couple of scans, she used to go into the doctor’s office with no idea about what the progress was “supposed to be”. The father-to-be took up responsibility for due diligence and would filter out the information passed on.
Dr Google can be a mom-to-be’s best friend. And the worst enemy!
Can you relate to that? Most women I know are hard-wired to get worried even when there is in fact nothing to worry about! I remember my pre-natal yoga trainer telling me that stress can affect hormones and your fetus can feel it when you are too anxious. Of course, rather than calming down – I began worrying even more about how my pregnancy anxiety was going to impact my baby!
My theory is that a large part of this is based on what we expect from ourselves. When I recently wrote a satirical take on what pregnant mothers imagine motherhood to be, vs. what it actually is, every mommy who read it sent me a comment along the lines of “Ha-Ha! So true!”
So if you’re feeling overwhelmed with all the changes happening around you during your pregnancy, read on to know what some real-life mothers were scared of, and what they did to get over their fears.
Harsha Sadarangani Mommy & Twinnies
Her biggest fear: What if the water bag bursts before I’m ready?!
How she overcame it: Mine was a very funny incident! By God’s grace, I had a very smooth pregnancy, despite having twins. My doctor, Dr Nozer Sheriar is a gem of a person. He never gave me do’s and don’t’s. He just told me to do what you feel, go where you want to go, and listen to your body. Towards the end of my 8th month since my tummy was really huge, and listening to my friend’s stories of water breaks I thought it could happen with me too. One night my hubby was working till late in the office, it was around 2 a.m. and parents were sleeping, I suddenly felt a gush of water flowing out and got really worried! What should I do? My hospital bag wasn’t ready, neither was my babies’ bag. Should I wake up the parents? Should I call the doctor? I quickly called my husband and he said he’d be home in ten minutes. I told him to search online and find out what he could till I packed my bag. And then I realised, it wasn’t the water bag that had burst – something went out of my control 😅 I literally felt like such a fool at that time!!
Latika Ratti One Stop Page for Readers
Her biggest fear: Just wanted my baby to come out healthy
How she overcame it: I relied on all the tests and scans
Priyanka Pavan The Happy Mumma
Her biggest fear: Baby wouldn’t move or kick more
How she overcame it: It was easily managed by consulting with my gynaecologist. My doctor had advised that I should feel a min of 10 movements in 1 hour at rest. And if I did not feel more movements, I used to eat something sweet or cold.
Pragnya Mishra Life with My Penguin
Her biggest fear: I was terrified that the day I would go in labour, my doctor would be out of town and there would be no backup option.
How she overcame it: My doctor assured me with her planner and she also introduced me to other doctors in the worst-case scenario.
Samidha Samidha Mathur
Her biggest fear: How will I manage to breastfeed the baby in public places?
How she overcame it: It eventually turned out to be quite easily manageable. I took the help of bottle feeding when we were out in places where I felt too uncomfortable.
Rakhi Jain Thoughtsmith’s Corner
Her biggest fear: That I have twins and the doctor has not been able to detect it.
How she overcame it: An ultrasound in the fourth month confirmed that it was a single pregnancy.
Batul Munim Shades of Mommydom
Her biggest fear: Will my child come out healthy?
How she overcame it: I believe good things happen to good people, and for me, the way to get over this fear was to have faith. I prayed for the health of my child.
Mandavi Jaiswal An Urban Nomadic
Her biggest fear: I may not be passing on proper nutrition to my baby
How she overcame it: At each sonography, the height-weight of the baby was showing as per the accepted average. So I told myself that I need to trust my doctors all will be okay.
Prisha Lalwani Mummasaurus
Her biggest fear: That my twins or I wouldn’t survive
How she overcame it: It was not easy to get over this fear! But I always tried to think positive and took extremely good care of my well being. I was recommended bed rest and not even allowed to sit, so I used to take bed rest thoroughly. I was home locked because I couldn’t even travel to any place except to the doctor, nor could I eat any outside food. So that level of control, no outings, no spicy/fried/sweet/salty food (so no cravings were entertained). I lived with this fear until the day I delivered them. They were both healthy.
Sonnal Pardiwala Angel’s Divine Light
Her biggest fear: That I will lose my child with intense bleeding
How she overcame it: I prayed deeply
Dr Pooja Kapoor The Banter in My Head
Her biggest fear: I was worried that I might get tired during the whole process of labour and might not be able to continue pushing. And might have to go for cesarean delivery. There is nothing wrong with a C section but I wanted a vaginal delivery.
How she overcame it: Being a doctor myself and having delivered lots of babies for ladies myself, I knew I just had to keep the faith and stay strong and just think about the baby coming into my arms. My husband is also a doctor and he kept telling me how much my cervix had effaced and it was just a little more effort on my part. This kept me motivated. I remembered everything I had studied in med school. So I pushed with all my strength. It’s all about the faith you have in yourself and the kind of support you get.
Sejal Khanna Raising Rehaan
Her biggest fear: How would we as a family cope if my baby wasn’t normal
How she overcame it: Trying not to dwell on the what-ifs. And focusing on how life will be with my new family.
Prajakta Prajakta Garud
Her biggest fear: Breastfeeding
How she overcame it: It was not easy. No one had proper knowledge of it. I relied on my certified lactation consultant and backed it up with a lot of internet searches to get more information.
Priyanka Mishthi Mumma
Her biggest fear: Baby’s development… There so many articles on the internet that talk about everyday things like mobile radiation, sonography, etc that may cause some obstacle in the baby’s growth.
How she overcame it: I wanted to stay healthy so I practised Yoga and did a lot of walking. Instead of focusing on negative thoughts, I kept myself busy by cooking or going to the temple.
Richa Richa Pansari
Her biggest fear: I had my second baby after a big gap, so nightmares about how I am a do all things all over again.
How she overcame it: It is not easy to get over these fears. Raising a baby again after a gap of a decade is quite a task. I am finding every day a challenge added to it is my baby is super light sleeper super duper clingy. My husband and mother in law are of great help. But the most basic thing is for the mother to keep a healthy mind & body. Managing a young babe with an older child (who is still not old enough to manage themselves) means you rely on the support of your loved ones.
Dr Harshita Harshita Gowda
Her biggest fear: That my baby will be born underweight because I suffered from severe nausea and vomiting all throughout.
How she overcame it: As a doctor myself I felt I was constantly over-diagnosing. Having many gynaecologist friends and their reassurance helped me overcome the fear.
Disha Singh Sun Sparkle Mom
Her biggest fear: Other than my husband not making it through delivery (😉😉), I think I worried a bit about the baby being healthy and the actual delivery going smoothly.
How she overcame it: I tried not to be overcome by fear or worry. That wouldn’t be healthy while being pregnant, right!? So instead I ensured I was as prepared as I could be – walking regularly, prenatal exercises and yoga till the day before I went into labour! I made sure I was active.
Neha Neha Gupta
Her biggest fear: Delivery was my one big fear.
How she overcame it: I was able to manage the fear, by telling myself that birth is a process like any other. And the pain would be bearable – after all population is constantly on the rise 😂 I told myself that females are made strong to go through this. More power to me!
Neelima Nandakumar Neelima
Her biggest fear: How do I wait till each check up to know if my baby was breathing and fine inside me?!
How she overcame it: I think I never did get over it!
Nupur (that’s me!)
My biggest fear: My nightmares revolved around being stuck in traffic in labor!
How she overcame it: Turns out, labor isn’t as quick as they show in the movies. My doctor too assured me that in 99.99% of the cases, there is enough time to get to the hospital before the baby decides to pop out. (But if you do find yourself in this scary situation, go on the back seat and kneel, or lie on your side. Try not to scream at the driver!)
During your nine-months, you will have enough physical discomfort to keep you up at night, don’t let the mental tension get to you. Have faith in your doctor, your partner, your babies, and yourself. Learn to let go of your fears!
Keep calm and carry on, ladies.
